It was the complete and utter silence that I noticed first.
So quiet that it was unnerving to the point of the hairs standing up on the nape of my neck.
It is impossible to be this quiet.
There has to be a sound of some kind.
The wind in the trees.
Insects at their nightly rituals.
Traffic.
Life .
But there was nothing.
It was making me uneasy to the point that I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath.

Then came the darkness.
So encompassing that it overwhelmed my senses.
I was blind in the dark.
Deaf in the silence that my sense of smell was going into overdrive.
There was a scent,  but it was impossible to recall where I had smelt it before.
It was not an aromatic scent but more of a instinctly pungent odour that had me wrinkling my nose.
Hard to describe.
It was actually similar to rotting garbage but sweeter and warmer.
Sounds weird I know but in this icy cold darkness the smell made me feel warm.

Putting one foot in front of the other I started to take small, stealthy steps in the direction of the scent.
I was mesmerised by the stillness and the blackness of the night and the smell was a beckoning hand guiding me to where it wanted me to be.
I felt as if I was outside my body looking in, having no say in what I was doing, no control over what would happen.
I often felt this way of late,  living in mechanical motions but not getting any satisfaction from my actions.

I forget for a moment exactly why I am here.
Or where here was for that matter.
I only knew deep inside that this was the place where I needed to be.
Muddled thoughts racing through my head mixed with explanations and descriptions of the past, present and future.
The fog was settling low and combined with the chill in the air it had my breath casting white shadows before my eyes.
Without explanation the tears began to slid down my cheeks.
Making me shudder as if I had been touched by something or someone unknown.

Then came the fear.
Wrapping itself around me like a cloak.
Settling in my soul like a leaden weight.
This can't be happening to me.
I have always been one of the rational people.
Reasons for everything and the explanations contained the clarity that convinced me that I must be dreaming,  that if there was no foundation,  then it just wasn't really happening.
Pedantic to the point of obsession.
That's me.
So why was I here in a place with no sound, unable to see in this darkness and at a loss as to how I could rationalise my predicament.

It was that last question I had asked myself that made me aware of my surroundings.
Complete and utter darkness.
Silence to the point of foreboding madness.
The bitter chill in the night air, unlike any I had ever felt before.
But it was the smell that had my stomach churning.
That sweet, warm smell.
So familiar yet unrecognisable.
Or was it?
Unrecognisable I mean.
I did know the smell.
I just couldn't bring myself to admit that I did.
If I said it out loud then it would make it real.
It can't be real.

I fall to my knees and I realize that I am alone.
So alone.
Alone in the still black night.
My only salvation is to say it out loud.
Speak the words that I needed to hear.
They will bring me peace.
Peace in the knowledge that we will all walk this path .
We will not know exactly when or where,  but it will happen.
When it does we must not be afraid.
We must embrace the silence.
See light in the darkness.
Push away the fear.
Most importantly we must see Death as an extension, not the finality of our life.